Choose a calm, private time, describe what you have noticed and listen without trying to win an argument. You cannot force another adult to recover, but you can make the next step much easier to take.

My practical answer is simple: bring them to a meeting, get them in touch with a qualified professional and sit with them while they use this website to understand their options. Do not just send a list of numbers and hope they deal with it tomorrow. Help remove the small obstacles that become very large when someone is frightened, ashamed, withdrawing or overwhelmed.

Start with one conversation, not a verdict

Avoid beginning while the person is intoxicated or during a fight. Decide what you actually want to communicate. Use recent, specific observations rather than labels.

For example:

  • “I’m worried because you have missed work twice after drinking.”
  • “I care about you. Can we talk about what has been happening?”
  • “Would you be willing to speak to a doctor or treatment professional with me?”

Ask open questions and allow silence. Listening does not mean agreeing that everything is fine.

If they show even a little willingness, move gently from talking to doing. One call, one meeting or one booked appointment is more useful than another hour debating whether they “really” have a problem.

1. Bring them to a meeting

Do more than tell them that meetings exist. Open the Bali Recovery meeting directory, choose a suitable current meeting together and recheck the time, venue and access type on the day. Then offer the lift.

You might say:

  • “There is a meeting this evening. Would you come if I drive?”
  • “We can arrive early, find the room and leave whenever you need to.”
  • “I can come into an open meeting with you, or wait nearby if it is closed.”

Open AA meetings can welcome interested observers; closed meetings are for AA members or people who have a desire to stop drinking. Respect the listing and the group’s anonymity. The first AA meeting in Bali guide explains what usually happens, what they can say and why they do not have to share.

Afterwards, offer coffee, breakfast or a ride home. Do not interrogate them about what they said or whether they now accept every part of the programme. Getting through the door and meeting people who understand is enough for one day.

A meeting is peer support, not detox or medical treatment. If the person may be physically dependent, acutely unwell or at risk, professional or emergency care comes first.

2. Get them in touch with a professional

A meeting can create hope and connection. A qualified professional can assess drinking, withdrawal risk, physical and mental health, medication and the appropriate level of care. That professional might be a doctor, addiction specialist, appropriately qualified counsellor or treatment service.

Make the offer concrete:

  • Sit with them while they call or write the first message.
  • Help them make and keep the appointment.
  • Offer transport or join the conversation if they want you there.
  • Help them write down recent drinking, previous attempts to stop, withdrawal symptoms, medication and immediate concerns.
  • Ask what should happen next and who is responsible for following up.

Do not turn the appointment into something you arrange behind their back unless immediate safety, legal responsibility or capacity makes that necessary. The aim is to help them engage with care, not take ownership of their recovery away from them.

If they are unsure what level of help makes sense, read Do I need rehab? together before the appointment. If Bali treatment is being considered, use the rehab in Bali guide to prepare questions rather than choosing a programme solely from its marketing.

3. Set them up with Bali Recovery

“Use this website” can be as vague as “get some help.” Make it practical. Open Bali Recovery on their phone, bookmark it or add it to the home screen, then choose the pages that match what they need now.

Do not overwhelm them with twenty tabs. Pick one page, complete one action and decide the next check-in. A useful first setup is: one meeting chosen, one professional contact made and the urgent page saved.

Bali Recovery provides general information and independent local guidance; it is not a clinical intake or emergency service. Do not email medical records or detailed sensitive health information through the contact address.

Make practical support specific

“Let me know if you need anything” can be hard to use. More concrete offers include:

  • “I’ll pick you up and take you to the meeting.”
  • “Let’s call the professional together now.”
  • “I’ll sit with you while we work through the Bali Recovery guides.”
  • Looking after children or transport while they attend an assessment.
  • Helping them follow through the next morning rather than assuming one conversation solved everything.

Offer transport, company or breakfast after the meeting without turning support into control. The person still chooses whether and how to take part, and a meeting is not a replacement for medical assessment or safe withdrawal care.

Do not make promises you cannot keep

Support is different from repeatedly lying to employers, paying alcohol-related debts or shielding someone from every consequence. Decide what you will and will not do, communicate it clearly and follow through.

A boundary describes your action: “I will not get in a car with you after you have been drinking.” It is not a threat designed to control someone else.

Look after yourself

Living with another person’s drinking can affect sleep, money, parenting, safety and mental health. Speak to someone you trust, seek professional support and consider a family fellowship such as Al-Anon where available.

You are allowed to make decisions about your own safety and home even if the person does not accept help.

Recognise immediate risk

Seek urgent help when there is loss of consciousness, difficulty breathing, seizure, severe confusion, violence, immediate risk of self-harm or other medical danger.

If someone may be physically dependent on alcohol, do not insist that they abruptly stop at home as a condition of your support. Withdrawal can require medical care.

If the first conversation does not work

Change often takes more than one conversation. End a discussion that becomes unsafe or abusive. Return to the subject at a calmer time, keep the offer of appropriate help clear and maintain your boundaries.

If the person is willing to consider treatment, read Do I need rehab? together and arrange a professional assessment.